Atonement
by NoxArkana
Summary: I didn't want to lose any more Phantomhives. And it would have been a great way to start a fight, that phrase. Or a great tale of lost love, Ciel wasn't sure. Anyway, it didn't matter now -not when he had four of the most powerful supernatural beings arguing heatedly in his living room and a very pissed, very chained Undertaker on his table.


«I didn't want to lose any more Phantomhives.»  
And it would have been a great way to start a fight, that phrase. Or a great tale of lost love, Ciel wasn't sure. Anyway, it didn't matter now -not when he had four of the most powerful supernatural beings arguing heatedly in his living room and a very pissed, very chained Undertaker on his table.  
Hadn't it been it for Sebastian, he was sure his knees would have given out and he would have fallen to the floor. Luckily for him, his demonic butler was holding him in his arms, silent and deadly, rigidly standing as far as he could from the yelling figures.  
«He stole one of my souls!» God -or, at least, Ciel thought the man was God- screeched. «I've been meaning to make that boy an angel! He snatched the kid straight from my grasp!»  
«Heh, age will affect anybody, old man» Satan cackled, a nasty grin splitting his face in two. God sent him a death glare, but his next words were drowned by Life's high-pitched voice.  
«I DON'T CARE!» she was bellowing. «RULES DO NOT APPLY TO ME! He was my experiment! He was _mine_! _Your ruined everything!_ »  
«Well, perhaps if you hadn't used one of _my reapers_ ,» Death growled, «I wouldn't have had to step in! You careless little brat, _you created a monster in a child's body_!»  
«He is no different from your own living corpses!»  
« _He is because he's fucking alive!_ » God yelled, furious beyond measure, as Lucifer howled with laughter.  
Ciel wasn't understanding, nor did he particularly care to, to be honest. All he knew was that his brother was hiding behind Undertaker's robes, terrified and trembling, and that the old Shinigami was hissing like a furious cat despite being trapped in -what had Death called it? The Reaper's Trap?- a pulsing black circle that whispered and murmured incessantly. Black chains throbbed on his body, crawling on what exposed skin they could find, tightening threateningly each time he moved too much. Death had brought them to life as soon as she'd barged in the Phantomhive household with the others, barking orders in a language nor Ciel nor Sebastian understood, and though the ancient reaper had fought them valiantly, in the end Death had forced him on his knees.  
Now, absolutely uncaring of the two beings witnessing their discussion, Death, Life, God and Satan were arguing loud enough to make windows rattle in their panes. The lights flickered every time Lucifer spoke, while they burned blindingly bright when God answered.  
Lucifer was actually the one to put an end to it, wiping at fake tears from his hellish eyes as he asked everyone to calm down. He plopped down at Undertaker's side, undignified and shaking with laughter and somehow more graceful and beautiful than Sebastian could ever hope to be.  
«Oh my, you lot are so fun when you're angry» he sighed contentedly, raking a dark tanned hand through his jet-black hair. His horns gleamed in the bright light, long and elegantly curved atop his head, adorned with small golden rings.  
«Oh, we're fun, hun? Then you'll be happy, 'cause I'm about to get _real fucking_ -»  
« _Oh, for the love of_ -»  
«Can we please sit down and discuss this like adults?!» Death snapped, banging her Scythe on the floor. Cloaked in black and shadow, she towered over the others, staring down at them with empty sockets in which burned a glowing green flame. Around her neck was a long necklace whose pendant was shaped like a hourglass. It held a single grain of sand, suspended and glowing green in the narrowest part of the glass container.  
Life huffed and begrudgingly sat at the table where Undertaker was chained. The four beings had yet to address him, but Ciel could almost physically feel the unadulterated anger emanating from them.  
The old man that was God hesitated, then followed Life without a word. Next was the dark figure of the Reaper and at last Lucifer, too, was seated. Only then did they adress the two unwilling spectators.  
«Sebastian, be a dear and make us tea, will you? You, brat, what are you doing there -isn't it past your bedtime?» Satan said casually, propping his clawed, bare feet on the table. The others mumbled something along the same lines,  
«Are we for the axe, my Lords and Ladies? If so, then by all means, just swing it».  
Undertaker's voice was little more than a growl, but it was firm, strong, unbroken. Death's head turned sharply towards him, old bones creaking and snapping.  
«Shut up, _Undertaker_ » she hissed, green flaming eyes trained on the ancient reaper. «Not one word. You disappointed me immensely».  
«Disappointed?! _Disappointed_?! The old cookie pulled the best prank in _History_! Oh dear, it's even better than the one with Jeanne d'Arc» Lucifer said jovially. He patted one of the chained reaper's knees. «You're in for a ton of shit, man, but it was totally worth it! If the pretty lady over there wants to off you for good, just tell Sebby to bring you _home_ -you definitely have a place in Hell, a pretty little room with your name on it.»  
«Lucifer» Death sighed, leaning her head against a skeleton hand. «Let's be serious for once, can you manage that?»  
The Devil sniffed. «Tch. You're no fun. Sebby-dear, why on Earth is our tea not on the table yet?»  
Unspeakably slowly, Sebastian began to set Ciel down. The child froze in his grasp for a moment, then his feet were touching the floor and the demon was again straightening up, eyeing the four figures warily.  
«Oh, stop making that face, boy» the child in white snapped. «We're not going to touch the kid. We're here for the old bat and the Unalive.»  
«Yes, yes, just go» God sneered, clearly pleased with the chance of ordering a demon around. Satan glared daggers at him.  
«Oi, you don't get to boss my kids around» he said sharply. «You leave Bassy alone. And as for you, you listen to me and only me, clear? _Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty, loyalty, loyalty, loyalty only to me_. And the pretty lady with anorexia. Alright?»  
Stiffly, Sebastian nodded and stepped away. Even if he'd wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to disobey a direct order from his sovereign. From the moment Satan had stepped into the manor, he'd be reduced to complete silence, unable to speak unless his king gave him permission to do so. He retained his free will and ability to think, but he was physically incapacitated from doing anything Lucifer didn't order.  
Ciel was left alone with the four bickering creatures, a furious Shinigami and his undead, frightened brother. He saw Undertaker bend forward, whispering something in the boy's ear, and Life's head snap suspiciously towards the old reaper. The curtain of silver hair had fallen forward though, hiding his face from the white child's searching gaze, and so she didn't see Undertaker tell him exactly where the secret passage to the kitchen was located, and how to get out of the mansion once he'd escaped, and then where to go to find help. Ciel highly doubted Lau would take responsibility for his brother, but one could never be sure.  
«Sis, your pet's being stupid» Life snapped. Death hissed low in her inexistent throat, using her Scythe to lift Undertaker's hair back up. The Shinigami smiled innocently.  
«What, can't I comfort a scared child now?»  
The black chains wrapped around his throat, tightening until Undertaker choked on his words. Life smirked along with the others, Death sighing and rubbing the bridge of her nose with two skeletal fingers.  
«I swear, this one is more trouble than he's worth» she muttered, then stopped talking as Sebastian came back with a tray and tea for everyone.  
«Oh, thanks a lot, Sebby-darling» Lucifer chirped, not bothering with getting his feet off the table. His smile was full of sharp teeth and beautiful. «Be our butler for the night, I'm sure the brat won't mind, right, brat? Of course he won't, I'm _Saaatan_ , who would dare cross _meeee_ -»  
«Oh dear me Lucifer can you stop being an idiot for three seconds?!»  
«Shut up old man, I'm having fun!»  
« _Why the bloody hell are you here anyway? You've got absolutely nothing to do with that soul!_ »  
Lucifer laughed so hard the cups and kettle trembled on the table. Life was looking at the two men with an expression of absolute boredom, while Death looked like someone had just made her bite into a lemon. Undertaker was making a show of rolling his eyes, chained as he was.  
«Must the brat really be here?» Life said suddenly. «He makes me uncomfortable. Besides, he has absolutely no reason to be witnessing this.»  
At those words, Ciel snapped out of the trance he'd been in. He straightened up to his full height -which wasn't much, to be honest, but still taller than Life- and raised his chin defiantly.  
«That's my brother you're talking about» he said, voice surprisingly firm despite the situation he'd found himself in. «He broke into my manor and sought to steal my position as its head. If anything, I should be the one judging him.»  
The silence that fell on the room was total for about three seconds. Then all the people in the room, with the exception of Sebastian and Ciel's brother, hollered with laughter. The lights began flickering like crazy until all the light bulbs exploded in glass shards that rained on the people at the table, stopped only by a wild gesture of God's hand. The only reason why the bulbs kept illuminating the room was the white-clad whild, who kept them burning by batting her eyelids.  
«Oh my you this is too much» Life shrieked. God nodded in agreement, old shoulders trembling with his laughs, while Satan only bent over and rested his horned head on Undertaker's knee. Both were grinning and laughing like fools.  
Death was the first to stop, wiping at inexistent tears from her empty eye sockets. «Oh gracious, this boy has some nerve. Pour the tea, will you, child?» she gasped, motioning for Sebastian to approach. The demonic butler obeyed without a word, pouring the tea for everybody.  
«I like the brat. Sebby, good choice» Satan praised. He patted the chair beside his own seat, smiling invitingly. «Oi, come sit here, brat. Let's hear you out, eh, guys? It'll be _fun_.»  
 _The hell do you mean with good choice_ , Ciel thought angrily as he approached the table. He sat down in front of Undertaker and honestly, could the ancient look any more betrayed?  
«So can we finally begin discussing the shit your pet pulled?» God grumbled, angrily taking a sip of tea. «I'm getting tired of being in the human world.»  
«Weren't you the one who created them?» Death commented, raising her own cup. The amber liquid she shouldn't have been able to drink fell in the hole in her jaw and turned to greenish mist that pooled in her chest. Inexplicably, Ciel found the process disgustingly fascinating.  
«Oh, please. Haven't you read Darwin?» God replied, kind of snappishly.  
«Of course I did. Not much to do in the Underworld anyway. I was just surprised a smug self-celebrating bastard like you could allow the birth of good old Charles.»  
«Fuck off.»  
«Screw you.»  
«Oi, stop being stupid. We've got an old cookie to throw away» Satan chirped happily.  
Death hummed gently, turning towards Undertaker. The old Shinigami grinned at her, unafraid, and she sighed deeply.  
«Look, I testified for you once» she said, flicking her hand so that the chain around Undertaker's throat fell. «I cannot do so again. We kno what you did. The only thing I cannot understand is _why_. _Why,_ Adrian?»  
It was the first time Ciel heard Undertaker's real name. It sounded regal. Classic. It fit the ancient reaper perfectly.  
Undertaker laughed softly.  
«You know why» he said, voice a little raspy from the chains tightening around his neck. «I do not owe explanations to a vile _thief_.»  
«A _thief_ , child? Really? You're pathetic, Shinigami» the dark lady said, not without a touch of sadness in her ageless voice. «You've been mine for how long, five, six, a dozen millenia? That's a long time, love. I told you so many times not to get attached...»  
«Guess I never stopped being alive at heart» Undertaker sneered. «You? You're dead inside. Incomplete. Soulless. You have no idea of what it means to fall in love.»  
Satan sighed, shaking his head. «Eh, child, no one at this table does. We can't miss what we've never felt. What you speak of, love and the like... it's like speaking of Santa Claus to us, yeah?»  
«Your argument is invalid simply because it is _not_ _an argument_ » Life said, mindlessly swirling the tea in her cup without touching it. God's eyes were faraway, lost somewhere no one could reach him.  
«Your feelings are powerful» he said eventually. «You may be a Death God, but you're still mortal at soul.»  
«Mortal at soul, human at heart» Death sentenced, standing up in a flare of dark robes. «You came out defective, Adrian. I thought I'd done a good job with you, my best specimen -but it's clear I was mistaken. You humans are unreliable, even when you're dead.»  
«Unreliable?» Undertaker hissed. «You are the one who creates us to send us out to do your dirty work. How many Death Gods have found you again while spitting blood for you? When we're faced with this truth, what do you expect us to do? A single soul had been all I'd asked, no, _begged_ for. The same soul, over and over, and you always ripped them from my grasp. If not to make me unreliable, then _why?_ »  
«Do you think for a moment» Death growled, «that I had fun waching you suffer? That's Luce's job, not mine. It was _necessary_. For a while, at least. Then... then I thought that perhaps...»  
The dark creature's voice died out. She leaned on her Scythe, heavily, defeated.  
«I moved it.»  
Undertaker's eyes widened. His whole body sagged, as if all strenght had drained from him, the picture of pure betrayal. Then he began growling. Ciel could feel it in his bones, a deep rumbling sound that was like thunder in the distance. The white in his eyes was beginning to bleed green. The young human didn't think he'd ever seen someone look that enraged.  
«May you rot in Hell, _liar_ » he whispered, curling protectively around the small undead child he'd brought back to life. Satan shook his head, looking more serious than ever while Life huffed. God just observed, the epitome of silent judgement.  
«We've all been there, old boy» Satan said gently. He streched back, horns gleaming like silk. «So. We know what, who, how and why. What to do with you now? I suggest a week at my place. You'll like it, I think -full of all those pretty painful things I like, from fire to pitch to breast rippers. Add a few scars on that mangled body of yours, huh? You might even live to tell about it.»  
«What about the kid?» Life asked, reaching out to grab a biscuit from the plate Sebastian had brought with the tea.  
«Eh, we kill him again? We've got Lady Anorexia there. Seriously, girl, go eat a burger or something, you're a bag of bones. Heh? Get it? A bag of bones?»  
Death rumbled out a sound that was half-laugh and half-snort as Undertaker hissed, baring teeth that, Ciel noticed, were now suspiciously pointy and sharp. The four began mubling with each other when Sebastian coughed in his hand, bowing deeply.  
«My Lord» he said, in the softest, humblest tone Ciel had ever heard him use. «May I speak?»  
Lucifer looked at him with a strange emotion in his hellish eyes. He lazily waved a long-fingered hand, leaning back on the chair, bare clawed feet again propped on the table.  
«If I may express an opinion, my Lord, young Ciel Phantomhive should be the one to judge both the Shinigami and the Unalive. They both sought to ruin his life, the least he should be able to do is being able to avenge himself.»  
«Now I remember why I never allowed you to speak, back home» Satan commented. «You're full of bullshit, Bassy.»  
Chastised, Sebastian lowered his head. Ciel tsked, drawing shocked attention to himself.  
«Something you wanted to add, brat?» God spat. Life barked a laugh, mouth full of biscuit.  
«As a matter of fact, I do» Ciel said calmly, then realized he was talking with _God_. With _Satan_ , _Life_ and _Death_. Beings that could crush him with a mere _thought_. When he realized that, though, it was too late -and ignoring Sebastian's terrified gaze and Undertaker's concerned eyes, he went on.  
«After all, you've let Undertaker get this far without doing anything. Unable, unwilling, unknowing, it hardly matters: all that matters is that you, four immortal creatures who aren't even capable of talking civilly to one another, didn't act until now, when it's already too late. Now give me one reason why you should decide the fate of those two, when on balance it's your fault they even got this far. Me and Sebastian fought them every step of the way. I think judging them is our due.»  
Silence.  
Complete, utter silence.  
Every single eye was trained on Ciel, who beared each with his head held high. Everyone stared at him, frozen with incredulity.  
Eventually, Satan regained enough composure to pull his feet off the table and bend forward, stare boring into Ciel's eyes. His voice was a mere whisper, scalding hot on the boy's face.  
«Just who do you think you are, little one?»  
Ciel didn't know how exactly he managed to hold that burning gaze. Satan didn't appreciate the fact that he did.  
«I'm beginning to think he should have died alongside his brother. A bloody cheeky bastard, he is. Think you could pull your scythe on him, babe?»  
Death didn't even reprimand for the nickname. «Perhaps I'll have Grell tear him apart with that chainsaw of hers. More painful, if a bit quick.»  
«Anyone votes for fire?» God asked.  
«He's right though» Life mumbled, not looking at any of them. Satan growled, a sound that shook everyone to their cores. Life shook her head. «He's right. I allowed him to bring that monster back to life. I didn't check. And later I considered it an experiment. I hid it from you.»  
«Maybe you did, and this is not the last time we'll touch that subject» Satan conceded, eyes never leaving Ciel's, «but he's still a meaningless little human. No matter that Bassy over there chose him, I'll still make him burn for this. Because, shitty brat, no one can backtalk to me like that. Be very careful. Without my blessing, Hell can be a very unpleasant place.»  
Ciel felt his bones go numb at the Devil's words, his stomach clench around something that was very, very cold. He was about to faint, he knew, and he knew his terror could be read on his face like a book... but he'd never been good at bearing abuse.  
«I've already been there. You should consider redecorating.»  
Again, complete silence.  
Then the ground began to shake.  
The whole building seemed to tremble as Satan snarled, this time showing long sharp teeth. His eyes were burning like hot coals, his rage could be smelt in the air: a smell of burnt hair and charred flesh, of pain and fear and desperation.  
Then, as abruplty as it had begun, everything stopped. Satan sat back in his chair, rage gone from his face.  
Suddenly Ciel's fear grew ten times.  
Death cackled, the others beginning to grin. A small smile was working its way on Lucifer's face.  
«You have guts, kid, I'll give you that» he breathed. «But remember that what you have seen is just a tiny portion of Hell. And when you die, I'll make you see everything. _Everything_ , Ciel Phantomhive, and Sebastian will be very lucky if he'll get even a ghost of the person you are now.»  
Very slowly, he turned to the others. He pinned Undertaker with a gaze that was equal parts considering and bored.  
«Where were we?»  
The old Shinigami looked stupefied. _Sebastian_ looked stupefied. The other three supernatural beings just grinned a little.  
Death whistled.  
«You managed to piss Luce off. Nobody ever manages that. My compliments. But as regal as you look among us, even though we have no self-control, just like you said, we still have control over you, kid. The answer is still no, as petty as I may sound.»  
«A lot of nerve in that skinny body of yours» Life commented. «No one ever spoke thus to Luce and lived.»  
Ciel gave a faint smile. «What's a mob to a king? What's that king to a god? And what is God to a non-believer?»  
«My Lord, that is quite enough» Sebastian whispered in his ear, but Ciel had long since passed the point of fear. What did he have to lose, after all?  
«Sebastian» God said, so suddenly that the boy flinched. He looked at the old man, who was staring at him with deep bottomless eyes. «You have still Sebastian that you can lose. Remember that.»  
«You won't attack Sebastian» Ciel said with a confidence he didn't really feel. Sebastian moaned in distress beside him and the boy put a reassuring hand on his butler's elbow. «Taking Sebastian would mean admitting you don't have direct power over me. And that's something you couldn't bear.»  
The four Immortals stared at him for a while, silent and thoughtful, as if to weigh the options in their minds. Eventually, Life snorted.  
«Luce, have your lackey bring the brat to bed» she said, not unkindly. «He needs sleep. Too much strain on his young mind.»  
«Speaking of which, how come he's seen you all and not gone insane?» Undertaker asked with sincere curiosity. Ciel couldn't hold a small gasp as the realization hit him too.  
The four beings shrugged. Life muttered something about brains they didn't understand, then Death sighed and turned to Undertaker.  
«We're here to discuss you, though. You'd deserve the divine brand for this, but I'm feeling generous... again. You'll kill the kid you brought back. And I'll keep an eye on you through the other reapers. You try to kill them, I'll destroy you for good. Remember who owns your hourglass.»  
God sputtered. «WHAT?! That's all? He stole a soul from me! He deserves-»  
«Shut up. Don't speak of things you don't understand» Death hissed. «I know what I'm putting him through, right, Adrian?»  
Undertaker froze in his chains, a furious growl erupting from his throat. His teeth had become longer, impressively sharp, almost triangular in shape. Suddenly Ciel asked himself what exactly Grell felt all the time.  
«No» the ancient hissed. Death tilted her head to the side.  
«No? You'd prefer the brand?»  
«Kill me and be done with it».  
Death hummed low in her throat. She began approaching the table and Lucifer turned to Ciel and Sebastian.  
«Bassy, take the child away» he said very softly. «Cover his eyes, cover his ears, and tell him all this is a lie.»  
Sebastian bowed deeply. «Yes, my Lord.»  
The demon spirited him away and Ciel looked into the Undertaker's eyes for the last time. The first blood-curdling scream erupted before he was out of earshot.

Death shook her head at the broken mess that was her first reaper, kneeling beside him to cover him with her dark cloak. Lucifer grimaced and flicked his fingers to clean the room from the remains of the Unalive's again-dead body, along with any traces of their passage in that house.  
God and Life had left as soon as the deed had been completed. Only Lucifer and Death remained, along with a creature that would never be the same again. He didn't say it out loud, but Satan thought the murder of the child had been the last drop in a mind that had already been dangerously fragile.  
He thought Death believed so, too.  
She was comforting him as if she did.  
«Hey, hey» he said awkwardly, heavily sitting beside the two. «I'll take good care of him, I promise. I'll make him a little prince, yes?»  
Undertaker didn't respond, but then again, they weren't expecting an answer. Death just sighed and shook her head again, then swept the floor with her monstrous Scythe to summon one of her other reapers.  
Who, of course, fell into the portal she'd created with a sound like a startled kitten.  
«Oh sweet me, why you» she grumbled, getting up. William T. Spears jumped to his feet in the blink of an eye, pruner at the ready, before his jaw dropped and he fell to one pajama-clad knee.  
«M-my Lady! Please don't look at me, I'm indecent!»  
«Oh, stop being stupid -I _made_ you, I know every single inch of you and the others. What do you think?» Death said boredly. «I have a task for you. Maybe not you _you_ , one of the others, you're so dull you make _me_ want to commit suicide. We need someone a little more energetic, more cheerful, yes? I need one of you to keep an eye on the Undertaker.»  
William then noticed the rather large bundle of clothes at Death's feet, staring at him with hatred in his green eyes. He blinked, eyebrows climbing his forehead to his hairline.  
«H-him, my Lady?»  
«No, the other one, the Undertaker I've got in my pocket. Of course him, bloody idiot. Can you do that? He's in a rather delicate state of mind, so be careful and don't break him.»  
William was completely speechless, and who could blame him? Lucifer certainly didn't. He wouldn't have wanted to be in his shoes. Then the younger Death God adjusted the glasses he somehow had on his face, rising slowly. «Do you have any preferences as to who should take this job, my Lady?»  
«Not really. Someone who's good at comforting people. That's all I ask. And...»  
Death hummed in thought, glancing briefly at Undertaker out of the corner of her empty socket. «Well, he'll be able to tell you what he needs. I think. Sweet me, I hope I haven't broken him. Have I broken him, Luce?»  
Satan scratched the back of his head, only then getting noticed by William, who flinched and grabbed his pruner tightly. «Eh, I wouldn't know, my dear. But...»  
He looked in the Undertaker's eyes, which burned with a hatred Lucifer had never seen in any man, woman or child he'd ever welcomed in Hell. The flame was still there, weak and fragile but not dead yet.  
«I don't think so. I hope.»  
Death sighed and nodded, motioning for Will to get closer to the Undertaker. The older Shinigami slowly got up as Death drew her Scythe to send them both into the reaper realm.  
«I swear I'll get you for this» Adrian murmured. «I will never forget.»  
«I know, love. I know.»  
In a flash of sudden green magic, the two were gone. The two Immortals stood alone in the dining room, which, after Lucifer's thorough cleansing, was pristine once more.

«Looks like you lost the bet, huh?»  
Death rolled the green flames in her eyes. «So what? He'll find that soul once more and will finally stop being an issue. I'm sure he and Grell will get along fine.»  
«If you say so. A dirty trick that was, though. What if he'd killed her in that ship?»  
«I take care of all my reapers, Luce, and I surely wouldn't have allowed him to kill Grell or Ronnie. They're the only ones who still give me a laugh.»  
In that moment, the doors opened slowly and silently to reveal Sebastian. The young demon looked as handsome as ever, if a bit disheveled. His eyes were glowing red, but they weren't threatening.  
Lucifer smiled a bit.

«So, the kid sleeps, yeah?»  
«Yes, my Liege.»  
«Hmmm. You know, Seb, I never took you for the cute-shit-loving guy. I always thought you'd end up with a strong, determined young demon, not... _that_.»  
«My current Master is the strongest person I know» Sebastian said softly, placing a hand on his own chest. «He survived thngs that would have destoyed any other, and came out victorious and sane from situations that would have broken a lesser man. I find him a more than suitable charge.»  
«Bah! If you say so. The neck is yours. I gather you don't want to eat him anymore, right?»  
Sebastian hesitated. Lucifer arched an elegant eyebrow and the weaker demon closed his eyes. «I... am not sure, my Lord. If I am to be absolutely sincere, I find the notion of devouring him a bit... bitter. As if it is not how it's meant to end. I was considering Turning him -with your Majesty's permission, of course.»  
«Oh, Sebby-boy, you know I'm a slut for anything that's even remotely gay. I forbid you to fuck him until he's reached the age of consent, though. We are demons, we are evil, but we have manners and are not filthy humans. And wear condoms.»  
Sebastian blushed, a pink hue that was charming on his already devilishly handsome face. He nodded at his King, bowing deeply.

«My Liege wasn't serious when he said he'd be showing my Master everything in Hell, I assume?» he asked, nervous and concerned for Ciel's wellbeing. It had taken an enormous effort to hit him on the nape to knock him out, and now these questions were using up the last of Sebastian's courage.  
Lucifer hummed, tapping on his lower lip with a long, tanned, clawed finger. «You know, I don't know. This kid seems to have a gift for confusing demons. Rest assured I won't forget how arrogant he was tonight, but perhaps my words were a bit harsh. I'll consider changing the punishment, though I make no promises, Bassy-my-heart.»  
Sebastian nodded in understanding, then politely asked: «Do you wish to spend the night? I could arrange rooms for you both, if you wish.»  
Death shook her skull, snorting. «Nah, boy, I've got a full-time job that requires all my attention at all times. Don't tell anybody I told you this, but reapers today are just so dull. I wanted action, fights to the last drop of blood... instead, I get boring records and sterile reports. I have to get out and get the job done myself to get some excitement. I'd die of boredom otherwise.»  
Lucifer laughed. «Oh, you're always so dramatic, dear» he said, offering her the arm. She took it and together they walked out the door, graciously held open by the demonic butler.  
Which Death promptly closed on Lucifer's tail.  
« _OUCH! SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST! You huge bitch, what was that for?!_ »  
«Because I a-door you, darling.»

. . .

Authoress' note:  
I have no idea where this came from.  
I do not own in any shape or form the characters featured in this story, I only own my OCs and the plot. Have a good day/night!


End file.
